Alright got it working, nice thing about *nix users, we'll fight with stuff till it works. Heres a quick synopsys.
So for BSD theres 5 java's for 6/7 I've tried 4:
Sun JDK 6 - not attempted
OpenJDK 7 - Open source implentation, runs nativly,this is the one causing the initial error
Sun JDK 7 - in theory can be done, with the linux emulation layer which actually installs an entire linux directory tree, which makes pathing a nightmare and I had library path/source path issues.
Diablo JDK 6 - This is the freebsd port of suns java 1.6, runs nativly, this almost worked, there was another error that I also got in openjdk 6, a crypto problem which was solved with -Djava.security.egd=file:/dev/random, and then ran into another error about a missing library Which turned out to be me having the minimap mod on the server, it would probably work
OpenJDK 6 - Open source implementation, runs nativly This is the one that I'm using now and seems to work just fine once i took the minimap mod
Modmix: BC3+IC2+Forestry although all of my testing before diablo was just vanilla+forge, in diablo, that worked so i threw mods at it and it exploded due to minimap mod.
FreeBSD 8.0-RELEASE #0: GENERIC amd64